I do have my moments, obviously, when the length of time I have been away for hits, and I start to feel like at the end of my time here, it will be time to go home; however, if I am going to be completely honest, it is more the guilt factor combined with that feeling of “I should…” that are pulling me home than anything else.
I hate that question of, “Don’t you miss your family?”, because it’s like, “Yes, genius. I’m not some coldhearted daugther/sister/friend who just dipped out on everyone, never to be seen again.” Of course I miss my family. And I miss my friends, both more than words can say, and I feel guilty every single day for not being in their lives. Granted, there is that pang of emptiness when I go to pick up the phone and it’ 3 a.m. back home and no one is awake, or when photos show up on Facebook of my best friends and my baby bro smashin’ shots at the bar, but that’s normal and expected, no matter how long you’ve been leading your daily life independent of those people. No matter if I was like in Florida or in Sydney, there’s always moments to be missed and that we won’t be a part of.
I feel like I sort of lost sight of everything for awhile and my head was super clouded with too many pressures on where to take my next step, like I was stuck mid-step with my eyes darting in angst from place to place for the perfect place to land.
I’ve been watching endless videos, visiting travel blog after travel blog, reading articles and once again studying Lonely Planet. I’m always dripping with eagerness to get out and go, and normally reading travel stuff I can’t yet do is something I consider to be a form of torture, as they usually make my heart beat at an incredibly rapid pace that tends to be difficult to settle down.
Recently, though, it’s had a different way of trickling through my veins and re-awakening that passion for traveling that’s sparked deep in my core and just burns throughout my whole body.
I’ve come to accept that I am a slave for traveling. I will always need to do it. I will never get enough. I listen to it no matter what it says or where it tells me to go, even if that detour on the way home to Brooklyn becomes a series of twists and turns that can’t even be tracked on a map.
Recently I have been remembering what it is I am working for, and I am lucky to have a job that gives me a reason to laugh and smile every day, and I’m working toward something I love doing. Nothing feels better than knowing you worked for it, and you worked hard for it.
And with that being said, to top off the emo-level of this from-the-heart blogging, there is no better way to end it than with some wise and well-written words from the world’s best doctor, Dr. Seuss:
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.You’ll look up and down streets. Look ‘em over with care.
About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you’re too smart to go down any not-so-good street.
And you may not find any
you’ll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you’ll head straight out of town.
It’s opener there
in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen,
don’t worry. Don’t stew.
Just go right along.
You’ll start happening too.
OH!
THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!
You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed.
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you’ll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don’t
Because, sometimes, you won’t.
I’m sorry to say so
but, sadly, it’s true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.
You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You’ll be left in a Lurch.
You’ll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you’ll be in a Slump.
And when you’re in a Slump,
you’re not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And IF you go in, should you turn left or right…
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused
that you’ll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…
…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.
NO!
That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You’ll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.
With banner flip-flapping,
once more you’ll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!
Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don’t.
Because, sometimes, they won’t.
I’m afraid that some times
you’ll play lonely games too.
Games you can’t win
’cause you’ll play against you.
All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you’ll be quite a lot.
And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance
you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.
But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.
On and on you will hike
and I know you’ll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.
You’ll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life’s
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)
KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
So…
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea,
you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!
